Avengers flash fic: "Initiative #22," (PG)

[hsavinien]

Title: Initiative #22

Author: H. Savinien
Rating: PG for language and politics
Wordcount: 480
Disclaimer: All characters named herein are the property of Marvel and merely borrowed for this fan-derivative, non-profit bit of fun.
Author's note: Sorry. At least election season's over now and we don't have to deal with any more real celebrity “I vote this way because” soundbites?

***

Initiative #22

by tonytheironmanstark | +subscribe | 302 videos [۷]

▲Like▼ | Add to | Share | Flag | 833,325,011

Uploaded by tonytheironmanstark on Oct 1, 2014

20,385,933 likes, 7,039,114 dislikes

----------

Tony says, “Vote no!”

Ballot initiative I-22 establishes a state policy that corporations are entitled to
constitutional rights for the protection of (LOL) and propagation of healthy business ($$$$$), and charges elected and appointed officials, state and federal, to implement that policy. ← Bullllshiiiiit!

Transcript:

“So, I've been getting- no, scratch that, my PR people have been getting a bunch of questions about this stupid-”

“Tony!”

“This...interesting...legal...thingy that some people have been pushing for that basically...umm, how do I phrase this... It claims that corporations are people, can have similar legal rights. And people have been asking what I think about that. I think it's stupid. Ill-conceived, illogical, and an attempt to abuse the system. So no, Stark Industries has no intention of backing it. Neither do I and since I am a person, I actually get to vote. As do all the people who work for me. Or Pepper. Or whatever. They get to vote because they are, you know, actually citizens who can make up their own damn-”

“Tony, language.”

“-their own minds about things. Hey, if I were pushing for voting rights, corporations would not be the first on my list. I mean, my computers are better informed and hold more opinions of their own than the heads of many of the corporations on this list and I'm guessing that's who would pretty much get to decide how the votes would go.”

“Tony, the script...”

“Fuck the script.”

“Tony Stark.”

“No, seriously, I've got this. I mean, my computers would probably all write in my friend Steve for most of the positions because they apparently worship the ground he walks on, which was certainly not something I intended, but still. Returning to my point. Corporations are not, uh, democratic entities. Why should they get to weigh into democratic process? You think the janitor at most companies can get a complaint or observation taken seriously by even...middle management or something? Senators and Congresspeople at least have to pretend to care what their constituents have to say. Corporations don't need constitutional protections like people do. Corporations have money. They have, in fact, ridiculous and stupid amounts of money that certain butthurt CEOs are now trying to protect for their own selfish use by hammering through this stupid referendum. In conclusion: Stark Industries is not a person. Only people get to be citizens with the rights and protections guaranteed to them. Thank you and good-”

“That was a...personal message from Tony Stark himself. I would like to add that Stark Industries will not be supporting this referendum. Thank you for your time.”

“Pepperrr...”