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hsavinienTitle: And mony a canty day, Jim, We've had wi' ane anither
Authors:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
hsavinien and _samalander
Pairing: Scotty/Kirk
Disclaimer: Star Trek and all characters associated with it are the property of the Roddenberry estate, J.J. Abrams, and Paramount Pictures. This fanwork is intended as a tribute only.
Rating/Warnings: PG-13 for innuendo, some language, references to sex, tentacles, reptilian reproduction, fluff and weddings.
Wordcount: 1817
A.N.: Title from "John Anderson, My Jo" by Robert Burns. Epistolary fic written for the Burns Night Scotty-Fest.
***
Sender: Scott, Montgomery
Recipient: Kirk, James
Everything good up there?
***
Sender: Kirk, James
Recipient: Scott, Montgomery
Do you think I can fit my whole fist in my mouth?
***
Sender: Scott, Montgomery
Recipient: Kirk, James
...that dull, eh?
***
Sender: Kirk, James
Recipient: Scott, Montgomery
It's a scientific pursuit. IF I have a fist THEN can I put the whole of it in my mouth. See?
Dull as the dead. How's things there?
***
Sender: Scott, Montgomery
Recipient: Kirk, James
Got Spock in on this brilliance yet?
Weeell, Keenser's been giving a lecture to whoever'll listen about the vast superiority of reptilian to mammalian breeding habits, I've rewired the main console for better efficiency, and the last twenty minutes have been a competition seeing who's got the oddest story about their sibs. I think Singh might win that one. His involves a dramatisation of the Mahabharatha, so points for history.
***
Sender: Kirk, James
Recipient: Scott, Montgomery
No, he's somehow not interested. Chekov, on the other hand, is creepy interested.
Okay.
1) Engineers are so weird.
2) Is Keenser using the finger puppets I made him?
3) Engineers are so weird. And hot.
***
Sender: Scott, Montgomery
Recipient: Kirk, James
You remember being teenaged? He's probably making plans to try it out himself as soon as possible.
1. You say that like it's a bad thing.
2. He is and it's horrifying. Why would you do something like that? My poor virgin eyes!
3. Why yes we are. Thank you.
***
Sender: Kirk, James
Recipient: Scott, Montgomery
I just keep picturing him trying and somehow, because he's Chekov, managing to punch himself in the face.
2. Nothing about you is virgin, Monty, I would know. Not even your eyes. By the by, wedding plans: we should make some.
***
Sender: Scott, Montgomery
Recipient: Kirk, James
He's all physicsy, he ought to be able to judge angles and all.
2. Well, maybe not... Not after three weeks ago, at least. Expect so. Tartan!
***
Sender: Kirk, James
Recipient: Scott, Montgomery
He's like, 90% elbow. If anyone can punch themself in the face through sheer force of awkward, it's Chekov.
2. What was three weeks ago, the tentacle thing? That was an accident.
No bagpipes.
***
Sender: Scott, Montgomery
Recipient: Kirk, James
True. Poor lad. Being all knees and elbows is a right pain in the arse. Ah well, he'll grow out of it.
2. It served to reinforce my suspicion that squid are a force for ill and should be destroyed whenever they venture outside their proper habitat.
What? But I've got a mute for them and all. How do you feel about swords?
***
Sender: Kirk, James
Recipient: Scott, Montgomery
Is that experience talking, my "spotty git" of a fiance?
2. Squid are nice and taste good fried. And you seemed to enjoy yourself at the time.
Like, kick-ass swords like Sulu's, or swords that I'm not allowed to take out of their holsters because Bones says I'll put an eye out?
***
Sender: Scott, Montgomery
Recipient: Kirk, James
Aye, a bit. I was a little horror and comprised mainly of wayward limbs.
2. They are treacherous and untrustworthy and I might've at the time, but I'd rather not risk a repeat.
Sheath, Jimmy. Sheath or scabbard. Like a proper broadsword. They're not toys, though, so no waving things about.
***
Sender: Kirk, James
Recipient: Scott, Montgomery
Well, it turned out okay for you.
2. They're smart and squishy and that's fair, but it's not a squid's fault if it's not your kink.
What do we do with them if we can't wave them around?
***
Sender: Scott, Montgomery
Recipient: Kirk, James
Oh, he'll turn out right enough.
2. Squishy. I think that's the problem. Can there be a rule about nothing squishy and damp in the bed? It can be rule 14. (Remember we added 13 Monday last - fire is not a toy.)
They're weapons, Jimmy. Y'don't wave your phaser about. If you want, you can learn to use one in properly in the rec room. It's a sort of ceremonial thing, alright? Like saying, we'll protect each other and we've the tools to do it.
***
Sender: Kirk, James
Recipient: Scott, Montgomery
I think he and Sulu are doing it.
2. How do we define damp and squishy because post-coital there are parts of both of us that might fit that descriptor. (Yes, yes. And it wasn't a toy, it was a magic trick and I had an extinguisher.)
YOU don't wave your phaser about. Okay, I could go for that. So kilts and swords?
***
Sender: Scott, Montgomery
Recipient: Kirk, James
Y'think? I've heard space is cold too.
2. Right, fine, damp squishy foreign objects. (Even so.)
SENSIBLE people who mind the safety regs. Aye, that'd be lovely. You do look fine in a kilt.
***
Sender: Kirk, James
Recipient: Scott, Montgomery
You're a smartass, you know that?
2. Does a washcloth count? (Wimp.)
Safety regs are there to bother me and nothing else. And hell yeah I do, I have great legs. We're not inviting my mother.
***
Sender: Scott, Montgomery
Recipient: Kirk, James
Might've heard a thing or two about it in school.
3. Only if it stays in. (I get nearly-exploded enough working on our lady. I don't need it in our quarters as well.)
I dunno about that. You do, you really do. No? Who all do you want there?
***
Sender: Kirk, James
Recipient: Scott, Montgomery
Imagine that.
2. Stays in? (She would never explode you. Also, you've never called them our quarters before. Hot.)
Trust me, Pike confirmed it. Yours are nice, too. I want you, and me.
***
Sender: Scott, Montgomery
Recipient: Kirk, James
I know. You'd think lecturers would be used to being told when they're wrong and bloody stupid about it.
2. If I roll over on it in the middle of the night, I'll not be best pleased. (Not on purpose, poor lady. You don't mind it, then?)
Oh, well then. Just try not to shoot yourself again, all right lad? Besides us. We've both got to be there, of course.
***
Sender: Kirk, James
Recipient: Scott, Montgomery
Apparently not. Then again, you do tend to take things into your own hands, Mr. Transwarp-beaming-is-easy-by-the-way.
2. Then you are the Official Disposer Of The Washcloth. I'll make you a hat. (I'm marrying you, I think I'm okay with living together.)
Technically, I didn't shoot myself, I shot the wall and the beam BOUNCED. Bones should come.
***
Sender: Scott, Montgomery
Recipient: Kirk, James
Just a bit. You like it when I do, after all.
2. Brilliant. I like hats. (Right, okay. That does make sense.)
Whichever. Don't do that, it gives me bellyache. Aye, that sounds good. Who all from the rest of the crew?
***
Sender: Kirk, James
Recipient: Scott, Montgomery
That I do. You're brilliant at it.
2. Can the hat be made of my underwear and/or washcloths? Are there Hat Rules? (You are a wonderful man, if a bit daft.)
Not a bellyache, no! We'll have to get you soup. Anyone who wants, I suppose. Won't do to have the captain married in private.
Hey, what's the Gaelic word for husband?
***
Sender: Scott, Montgomery
Recipient: Kirk, James
Flattery. You've such a silver tongue, Jimmy.
2. If they're clean, aye. There are. You must RESPECT the hat. Gigglers will be disciplined. (Pfff. I'm a bloody genius, I am.)
Soup is good. You getting lunch at 1300 today? Alpha crew, for sure, and my lieutenants.
Fear pòsda. My husband is mo fear pòsda.
***
Sender: Kirk, James
Recipient: Scott, Montgomery
Please, you love my tongue.
2. I have so many Hat Plans. And I'm gonna giggle so hard. Do your worst, Scottsman! (Yes, you really are.)
Yeah, unless something interesting happens. Well, yeah. We have to invite the entire crew. I'm the captain. We'll have a quiet, just-us-chickens dinner the night before.
Mo fear pòsda. I like it. Makes me think "My Fair something."
***
Sender: Scott, Montgomery
Recipient: Kirk, James
I do. And the rest of you.
2. Wicked man. I'll have to come up with a fitting punishment now. (Ah, Jimmy.)
Brilliant. I'll meet you there then. That'll be a party and a half. I like this plan. Lots to drink and dancing at the big party and dinner and us at the small one.
It's literally "my man married."
***
Sender: Kirk, James
Recipient: Scott, Montgomery
Well, duh. Who doesn't?
2. There could be a punishment hat? (Yes?)
You're trying to surreptitiously feed me, huh? And yes, I'm looking forward to the little one more than the big one, but if we invite anyone, we have to invite everyone.
Oh my god we're getting married.
***
Sender: Scott, Montgomery
Recipient: Kirk, James
Eh, well. Let's see. Uhura, Spock, several admirals, most Romulans and Klingons, the Vulcan Council including Spock's grumpy grandma...
2. Maybe. It might be tricky to juggle hats like that. And what if you laughed at the punishment hat? Then I'd have to find a new punishment hat and we'd never get to anything fun. (I love you, you berk.)
Was I being subtle? I wasn't really aiming for it. I like eating with you is all. They'll both be great fun, but all that's important is that we're there.
We are.
***
Sender: Kirk, James
Recipient: Scott, Montgomery
Hey, HEY. No insulting the captain. That's mutiny.
2. Hm. I see your point. Lot of hats, that. What about punishment socks? (I love you, too.)
You weren't subtle, I'm obtuse. I like seeing you in the middle of the day. And tonight is chess with Spock at 1900, so though the game will take 30 seconds, the lecture will have me out until 2300.
Wow. Wow.
***
Sender: Scott, Montgomery
Recipient: Kirk, James
Technically, it's just disrespect to a senior officer.
2. It is a problem, right enough. Socks are good. Can they be stripey? (Excellent!)
I'd love you even if you were acute. I do too and that way we both remember to eat and that Miss Rand doesn't threaten you with hairpins. Win win. Alright, have fun. I've got some technical journals to catch up on, I can do that then and see you after?
Aye.
***
Sender: Kirk, James
Recipient: Scott, Montgomery
Are you correcting the captain, Lt. Commander Sassypants?
2. Stripey, or tartan. Tartan punishment socks seems about right.
I am cute! You said so yourself. Plus, I have acute ass. I don't know why you're scared of Jan, she's relatively harmless. Don't wait up, okay? I'll be quiet when I get in.
***
Sender: Scott, Montgomery
Recipient: Kirk, James
Just a little.
2. Excellent, tartan it is.
True, you are and you have. She's like my mum, cheerful and terrifying. No promises, Jimmy. I find a kiss helps me get to sleep.
***
Sender: Kirk, James
Recipient: Scott, Montgomery
Well, stop it or I'll tell Spock on you.
Will you make them? And you never told me how you learned to knit, you know. I've been waiting for that story.
You're not bad looking yourself, you know. And Jan is harmless, really. You can have all my kisses, Monty.
***
Sender: Scott, Montgomery
Recipient: Kirk, James
Tell-tale.
Aye, all right. It'll take me a bit, though. Patterns like that are tricky.
Have I not? Well, way back in the days of wooden ships and canvas sails, sailors passed their free hours making and mending and a young coxswain named Erasmus Laidly Scott learnt to knit from an older crewman. When he had a son, he taught him too, as he taught young William to tie a knot and read a wind. William taught his sons and they theirs and my pa taught me to knit as well. I've a scarf that he made me and gloves from my sister Amabel and a hat I made myself.
Thank you, Jimmy. Maybe. I'm going to try to stay on her good side though, just in case. I like this plan.
I'll have to sign off now before my engineering crew finds some new and entertaining way to blow themselves up out of sheer boredom. I'll see you in the mess, Jimmy, and we can talk more about the wedding. You ought to get Admiral Pike to officiate.
Authors:
hsavinien and _samalander Pairing: Scotty/Kirk
Disclaimer: Star Trek and all characters associated with it are the property of the Roddenberry estate, J.J. Abrams, and Paramount Pictures. This fanwork is intended as a tribute only.
Rating/Warnings: PG-13 for innuendo, some language, references to sex, tentacles, reptilian reproduction, fluff and weddings.
Wordcount: 1817
A.N.: Title from "John Anderson, My Jo" by Robert Burns. Epistolary fic written for the Burns Night Scotty-Fest.
***
Sender: Scott, Montgomery
Recipient: Kirk, James
Everything good up there?
***
Sender: Kirk, James
Recipient: Scott, Montgomery
Do you think I can fit my whole fist in my mouth?
***
Sender: Scott, Montgomery
Recipient: Kirk, James
...that dull, eh?
***
Sender: Kirk, James
Recipient: Scott, Montgomery
It's a scientific pursuit. IF I have a fist THEN can I put the whole of it in my mouth. See?
Dull as the dead. How's things there?
***
Sender: Scott, Montgomery
Recipient: Kirk, James
Got Spock in on this brilliance yet?
Weeell, Keenser's been giving a lecture to whoever'll listen about the vast superiority of reptilian to mammalian breeding habits, I've rewired the main console for better efficiency, and the last twenty minutes have been a competition seeing who's got the oddest story about their sibs. I think Singh might win that one. His involves a dramatisation of the Mahabharatha, so points for history.
***
Sender: Kirk, James
Recipient: Scott, Montgomery
No, he's somehow not interested. Chekov, on the other hand, is creepy interested.
Okay.
1) Engineers are so weird.
2) Is Keenser using the finger puppets I made him?
3) Engineers are so weird. And hot.
***
Sender: Scott, Montgomery
Recipient: Kirk, James
You remember being teenaged? He's probably making plans to try it out himself as soon as possible.
1. You say that like it's a bad thing.
2. He is and it's horrifying. Why would you do something like that? My poor virgin eyes!
3. Why yes we are. Thank you.
***
Sender: Kirk, James
Recipient: Scott, Montgomery
I just keep picturing him trying and somehow, because he's Chekov, managing to punch himself in the face.
2. Nothing about you is virgin, Monty, I would know. Not even your eyes. By the by, wedding plans: we should make some.
***
Sender: Scott, Montgomery
Recipient: Kirk, James
He's all physicsy, he ought to be able to judge angles and all.
2. Well, maybe not... Not after three weeks ago, at least. Expect so. Tartan!
***
Sender: Kirk, James
Recipient: Scott, Montgomery
He's like, 90% elbow. If anyone can punch themself in the face through sheer force of awkward, it's Chekov.
2. What was three weeks ago, the tentacle thing? That was an accident.
No bagpipes.
***
Sender: Scott, Montgomery
Recipient: Kirk, James
True. Poor lad. Being all knees and elbows is a right pain in the arse. Ah well, he'll grow out of it.
2. It served to reinforce my suspicion that squid are a force for ill and should be destroyed whenever they venture outside their proper habitat.
What? But I've got a mute for them and all. How do you feel about swords?
***
Sender: Kirk, James
Recipient: Scott, Montgomery
Is that experience talking, my "spotty git" of a fiance?
2. Squid are nice and taste good fried. And you seemed to enjoy yourself at the time.
Like, kick-ass swords like Sulu's, or swords that I'm not allowed to take out of their holsters because Bones says I'll put an eye out?
***
Sender: Scott, Montgomery
Recipient: Kirk, James
Aye, a bit. I was a little horror and comprised mainly of wayward limbs.
2. They are treacherous and untrustworthy and I might've at the time, but I'd rather not risk a repeat.
Sheath, Jimmy. Sheath or scabbard. Like a proper broadsword. They're not toys, though, so no waving things about.
***
Sender: Kirk, James
Recipient: Scott, Montgomery
Well, it turned out okay for you.
2. They're smart and squishy and that's fair, but it's not a squid's fault if it's not your kink.
What do we do with them if we can't wave them around?
***
Sender: Scott, Montgomery
Recipient: Kirk, James
Oh, he'll turn out right enough.
2. Squishy. I think that's the problem. Can there be a rule about nothing squishy and damp in the bed? It can be rule 14. (Remember we added 13 Monday last - fire is not a toy.)
They're weapons, Jimmy. Y'don't wave your phaser about. If you want, you can learn to use one in properly in the rec room. It's a sort of ceremonial thing, alright? Like saying, we'll protect each other and we've the tools to do it.
***
Sender: Kirk, James
Recipient: Scott, Montgomery
I think he and Sulu are doing it.
2. How do we define damp and squishy because post-coital there are parts of both of us that might fit that descriptor. (Yes, yes. And it wasn't a toy, it was a magic trick and I had an extinguisher.)
YOU don't wave your phaser about. Okay, I could go for that. So kilts and swords?
***
Sender: Scott, Montgomery
Recipient: Kirk, James
Y'think? I've heard space is cold too.
2. Right, fine, damp squishy foreign objects. (Even so.)
SENSIBLE people who mind the safety regs. Aye, that'd be lovely. You do look fine in a kilt.
***
Sender: Kirk, James
Recipient: Scott, Montgomery
You're a smartass, you know that?
2. Does a washcloth count? (Wimp.)
Safety regs are there to bother me and nothing else. And hell yeah I do, I have great legs. We're not inviting my mother.
***
Sender: Scott, Montgomery
Recipient: Kirk, James
Might've heard a thing or two about it in school.
3. Only if it stays in. (I get nearly-exploded enough working on our lady. I don't need it in our quarters as well.)
I dunno about that. You do, you really do. No? Who all do you want there?
***
Sender: Kirk, James
Recipient: Scott, Montgomery
Imagine that.
2. Stays in? (She would never explode you. Also, you've never called them our quarters before. Hot.)
Trust me, Pike confirmed it. Yours are nice, too. I want you, and me.
***
Sender: Scott, Montgomery
Recipient: Kirk, James
I know. You'd think lecturers would be used to being told when they're wrong and bloody stupid about it.
2. If I roll over on it in the middle of the night, I'll not be best pleased. (Not on purpose, poor lady. You don't mind it, then?)
Oh, well then. Just try not to shoot yourself again, all right lad? Besides us. We've both got to be there, of course.
***
Sender: Kirk, James
Recipient: Scott, Montgomery
Apparently not. Then again, you do tend to take things into your own hands, Mr. Transwarp-beaming-is-easy-by-the-way.
2. Then you are the Official Disposer Of The Washcloth. I'll make you a hat. (I'm marrying you, I think I'm okay with living together.)
Technically, I didn't shoot myself, I shot the wall and the beam BOUNCED. Bones should come.
***
Sender: Scott, Montgomery
Recipient: Kirk, James
Just a bit. You like it when I do, after all.
2. Brilliant. I like hats. (Right, okay. That does make sense.)
Whichever. Don't do that, it gives me bellyache. Aye, that sounds good. Who all from the rest of the crew?
***
Sender: Kirk, James
Recipient: Scott, Montgomery
That I do. You're brilliant at it.
2. Can the hat be made of my underwear and/or washcloths? Are there Hat Rules? (You are a wonderful man, if a bit daft.)
Not a bellyache, no! We'll have to get you soup. Anyone who wants, I suppose. Won't do to have the captain married in private.
Hey, what's the Gaelic word for husband?
***
Sender: Scott, Montgomery
Recipient: Kirk, James
Flattery. You've such a silver tongue, Jimmy.
2. If they're clean, aye. There are. You must RESPECT the hat. Gigglers will be disciplined. (Pfff. I'm a bloody genius, I am.)
Soup is good. You getting lunch at 1300 today? Alpha crew, for sure, and my lieutenants.
Fear pòsda. My husband is mo fear pòsda.
***
Sender: Kirk, James
Recipient: Scott, Montgomery
Please, you love my tongue.
2. I have so many Hat Plans. And I'm gonna giggle so hard. Do your worst, Scottsman! (Yes, you really are.)
Yeah, unless something interesting happens. Well, yeah. We have to invite the entire crew. I'm the captain. We'll have a quiet, just-us-chickens dinner the night before.
Mo fear pòsda. I like it. Makes me think "My Fair something."
***
Sender: Scott, Montgomery
Recipient: Kirk, James
I do. And the rest of you.
2. Wicked man. I'll have to come up with a fitting punishment now. (Ah, Jimmy.)
Brilliant. I'll meet you there then. That'll be a party and a half. I like this plan. Lots to drink and dancing at the big party and dinner and us at the small one.
It's literally "my man married."
***
Sender: Kirk, James
Recipient: Scott, Montgomery
Well, duh. Who doesn't?
2. There could be a punishment hat? (Yes?)
You're trying to surreptitiously feed me, huh? And yes, I'm looking forward to the little one more than the big one, but if we invite anyone, we have to invite everyone.
Oh my god we're getting married.
***
Sender: Scott, Montgomery
Recipient: Kirk, James
Eh, well. Let's see. Uhura, Spock, several admirals, most Romulans and Klingons, the Vulcan Council including Spock's grumpy grandma...
2. Maybe. It might be tricky to juggle hats like that. And what if you laughed at the punishment hat? Then I'd have to find a new punishment hat and we'd never get to anything fun. (I love you, you berk.)
Was I being subtle? I wasn't really aiming for it. I like eating with you is all. They'll both be great fun, but all that's important is that we're there.
We are.
***
Sender: Kirk, James
Recipient: Scott, Montgomery
Hey, HEY. No insulting the captain. That's mutiny.
2. Hm. I see your point. Lot of hats, that. What about punishment socks? (I love you, too.)
You weren't subtle, I'm obtuse. I like seeing you in the middle of the day. And tonight is chess with Spock at 1900, so though the game will take 30 seconds, the lecture will have me out until 2300.
Wow. Wow.
***
Sender: Scott, Montgomery
Recipient: Kirk, James
Technically, it's just disrespect to a senior officer.
2. It is a problem, right enough. Socks are good. Can they be stripey? (Excellent!)
I'd love you even if you were acute. I do too and that way we both remember to eat and that Miss Rand doesn't threaten you with hairpins. Win win. Alright, have fun. I've got some technical journals to catch up on, I can do that then and see you after?
Aye.
***
Sender: Kirk, James
Recipient: Scott, Montgomery
Are you correcting the captain, Lt. Commander Sassypants?
2. Stripey, or tartan. Tartan punishment socks seems about right.
I am cute! You said so yourself. Plus, I have acute ass. I don't know why you're scared of Jan, she's relatively harmless. Don't wait up, okay? I'll be quiet when I get in.
***
Sender: Scott, Montgomery
Recipient: Kirk, James
Just a little.
2. Excellent, tartan it is.
True, you are and you have. She's like my mum, cheerful and terrifying. No promises, Jimmy. I find a kiss helps me get to sleep.
***
Sender: Kirk, James
Recipient: Scott, Montgomery
Well, stop it or I'll tell Spock on you.
Will you make them? And you never told me how you learned to knit, you know. I've been waiting for that story.
You're not bad looking yourself, you know. And Jan is harmless, really. You can have all my kisses, Monty.
***
Sender: Scott, Montgomery
Recipient: Kirk, James
Tell-tale.
Aye, all right. It'll take me a bit, though. Patterns like that are tricky.
Have I not? Well, way back in the days of wooden ships and canvas sails, sailors passed their free hours making and mending and a young coxswain named Erasmus Laidly Scott learnt to knit from an older crewman. When he had a son, he taught him too, as he taught young William to tie a knot and read a wind. William taught his sons and they theirs and my pa taught me to knit as well. I've a scarf that he made me and gloves from my sister Amabel and a hat I made myself.
Thank you, Jimmy. Maybe. I'm going to try to stay on her good side though, just in case. I like this plan.
I'll have to sign off now before my engineering crew finds some new and entertaining way to blow themselves up out of sheer boredom. I'll see you in the mess, Jimmy, and we can talk more about the wedding. You ought to get Admiral Pike to officiate.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2011-02-02 07:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-02 09:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-02 11:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-02 09:14 pm (UTC)I love their relationship, so much smart and witty banter. I love them as a couple more and more.
I just keep picturing him trying and somehow, because he's Chekov, managing to punch himself in the face.
BWAHAHA! XD
no subject
Date: 2011-02-02 09:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-02 11:14 pm (UTC)And YES I love that line too! :)
no subject
Date: 2011-02-02 11:15 pm (UTC)