A surreal IM conversation

[hsavinien]

savinien: hello?
cinchitupcwby: hi
savinien:  was there something specific you wanted to talk about or was it just to say hi and all?
cinchitupcwby: I need advice on getting out of this
savinien:  out of what?
cinchitupcwby:  can u see?
savinien:  *peers at webcam feed* are you...tied to something?
cinchitupcwby:  chained
savinien:  er, how did you manage that?
cinchitupcwby:  not sure woke upp like this
savinien:  lean back a bit, let me see.
savinien:  handcuffs?
cinchitupcwby:  seee?
cinchitupcwby:  yes
cinchitupcwby:  and no keys
savinien:  the chain--how big are the links?  how much space in the loops?
cinchitupcwby:  standard prison shackles
savinien:  give me a measurement, here.
savinien:  approximate
cinchitupcwby:  36
cinchitupcwby:  '
cinchitupcwby:  "
cinchitupcwby:  "36
cinchitupcwby:  "hand can not fit out of cuff
savinien:  have you got access to a hairpin or something around that size and shape? try picking the lock.
cinchitupcwby:  nopers
savinien:  right.
savinien:  erm, I'm going to have to suggest calling for help.  You need someone with wire/lock cutters.
cinchitupcwby:  no phone?
savinien:  okay.
savinien:  um.
savinien:  have you got a paperclip?
cinchitupcwby:  should i just chain the otherr hand up and get it over with?
cinchitupcwby:  no ppclip
savinien:  probably no hacksaw available, right?
savinien:  Is there anyone within yelling distance?
cinchitupcwby:  no
savinien:  what is it that the other cuff's attached to?
cinchitupcwby:  answer my question shoulg i?
cinchitupcwby:  the headboard
savinien:  do you mind breaking the headnoard?
savinien:  *headboard
cinchitupcwby:  yes
savinien:  screwdriver?
cinchitupcwby:  no
cinchitupcwby:  answer my question
savinien:  *looks back over conversation for the question*  I wouldn't really suggest that.  I thought the idea was to get out
cinchitupcwby:  watch tell me what u think
savinien:  *glares at screen* if you're hitting on me, piss off.
cinchitupcwby:  no
cinchitupcwby:  just watch *chains self further*
savinien:  ...?  how does this improve things? *watches in mild disbelief as he moves around at random, chained to the headboard by both wrists*
savinien:  I'm really afraid that there's nothing I can do to help.  I hope you're expecting visitors within a reasonable amount of time.
savinien:  'bye.  Sorry.

Comments

Continuation of the strangeness.

[hsavinien.livejournal.com]

cinchitupcwby: help
savinien: I'm sorry, you've forfeited my help by
chaining yourself further. my room-mate suggests
that you use your IM to call for help from qualified
authorities.
cinchitupcwby: y?
savinien: By further restraining yourself, you have
demonstrated no common sense. Freedom of
movement is preferable, in even of fire. Please call
someone else for help.
cinchitupcwby: sweetherart
cinchitupcwby: u r right it was stupid
cinchitupcwby: very stupid
savinien: I repeat, if you are trying to hit on me, you
can piss off. It says in my profile, "not interested in
dating/sex". I sincerely hope you have the keys to
those cuffs because I'm blocking you now.
*blocks cinchitupcwby*

Re: Continuation of the strangeness.

[chelonianmobile.livejournal.com]

And here we see why I do not use chatrooms/IM.

BTW, your half of the conversation is very funny. Nice to see someone typing complete sentences on IM for once. (Another reason I don't use it.)

Re: Continuation of the strangeness.

[chelonianmobile.livejournal.com]

Oh, and it just occurred to me ... ever read "Gerald's Game"? I couldn't help but be reminded. Except the chick in that book was trying to get OUT of the cuffs, like a sensible person should.

Re: Continuation of the strangeness.

[hsavinien.livejournal.com]

No, never heard of it. Who's the author?

I try to foster the use of good grammar on IM, even when dealing with obvious twits. Sometimes I despair of humanity...

Re: Continuation of the strangeness.

[chelonianmobile.livejournal.com]

Stephen King. The basic plot is, the eponymous Gerald, who is our heroine's husband, chains her to the bed in their holiday home by the lake, and then promptly suffers a heart attack and dies. As you can imagine, poor Jessie is stuck chained to the bed in her underwear, with the keys out of reach, a dead guy on the bedroom floor, and nobody within yelling distance, and she spends the rest of the book trying various methods of escape (while suffering flashbacks to a nasty experience in her childhood, but I wasn't so interested in that as I was in how she escaped).

Good grammar should be kept when dealing with anyone. Yay ^_^

[erincalenear.livejournal.com]

It amazes me, the stupidity of people. He deserves to be chained.

[hsavinien.livejournal.com]

A truly strange young man, now, thankfully, no longer allowed to contact me.