GO ficlet: "A Problem with Euphemism", PG-15, Gift for Vulgarweed.

[hsavinien]

Title: A Problem with Euphemism
Author: H. Savinien
Rating: PG-15
Pairing: Aziraphale/Crowley
Disclaimer: They belong to Pterry and Gneil, I intend no disrespect to the original authors, and I derive no monetary gain from the creation of this derivative work.
Wordcount: 300
Author's note: A gift for vulgarweed , on the occasion of her birthday.
Summary:  Aziraphale and Crowley are having a little bit of trouble with words...
***

 

“Well, I’m sorry if you think it sounds clinical, but that’s what it’s called!  From the Greek posthe.  How about membrum virilis?”  He patted it fondly.

 

“Angel—“ Crowley struggled for words.  “An etymology lecture in bed may have just made the front-runner’s spot as the biggest turn-off I have ever encountered.”

 

Aziraphale sniffed fussily, crossing his arms and scooching around on the cushions to fit more comfortably on the bed.  “Well, what would you suggest, then?”

 

“My Rod of Lordly Might?” Crowley said half-hopefully.

 

“…oughtn’t you have been smited for that?”

 

“It’s not meant to invoke, you know, Up There!  It’s from a game,” Crowley snapped, flopping back on the bed (but gracefully, always very suavely).  He was quickly becoming put out with the whole business.  Even pleasures of the flesh were not worth this kind of bother over terminology.  “You already vetoed prick, dick, cock, tool, shaft, yard—“

 

“Vast hyperbole,” Aziraphale murmured unrepentantly, gazing at the ceiling.

 

“That’s the…the point!”  Crowley shook his head.  “…staff, sword—“

 

“I had the sword, if you recall, my dear.”

 

The demon sighed, flinging one arm across his face.  “And I refuse to let you refer to any part of my body as a pecker, member, length, or phallus.  Pride is obviously out.  What, exactly, does that leave us?”

 

Aziraphale regarded his counterpart calmly for a few moments, letting his eyes drift along the pale expanse of so-human looking skin.  Then he sat up decidedly and flexed his back to let his wings slip out and stretch, the misty gold expanse of feathers somehow extending beyond the rough walls of the small dormer room.  “Well,” the angel mused, turning and clambering a bit until he settled again, seated across Crowley’s legs.  “We might start doing something about it instead of talking.”

Comments

[agenttrojie.livejournal.com]

Okay, that's just awesome :D Seeing Aziraphale and Crowley have the very debate that plagues my days as a slasher. You win, please to accept this internets.

[hsavinien.livejournal.com]

^_^ Hee. Thanks and you're welcome. I don't think I've got an internet before!

[waxbean.livejournal.com]

Yum. Delectable!

I can imagine this can be a rather vexing discussion to have with one's lover. I wonder what they'll settle on?

[hsavinien.livejournal.com]

You know, I don't imagine they ever will settle on a mutually acceptable term...

Glad you approve.

[lanenk.livejournal.com]

Heh. That was perfect! I can totally picture this happening. Even in the middle of 'that' they bicker. XD

[hsavinien.livejournal.com]

Of course they do. ^_^

[yuri-shoujo.livejournal.com]

XD Aaah.. you're so brilliant. <3

[hsavinien.livejournal.com]

=^_^= <3

[vulgarweed.livejournal.com]

AHAHAHAHA! *dies laughing* That's just PERFECT. It's so very, very, very them. And think of all the languages they can fail to find an agreeable word in!

(Perhaps Crowley will try to settle the matter by giving it a ridiculous nickname.)

Thank you thank you thank you! <3

[hsavinien.livejournal.com]

*giggle* You're welcome. And, yes, I shudder to think what Crowley will settle on, purely for the purpose of annoying Aziraphale.

[vulgarweed.livejournal.com]

"Python."

[hsavinien.livejournal.com]

Oh, gods, he would. *snigger*

[vulgarweed.livejournal.com]

Yes. He really, really would. :D GMTA, because I've had a little bit for the Kink Meme in mind on a very similar theme. I'll link when it's done.

[hsavinien.livejournal.com]

Cool. ^_^

[catoasapun.livejournal.com]

Hee! Oh, this is wonderful.

Wow, I can totally see them having this argument... it is just so very them. Really, only them. XD

[hsavinien.livejournal.com]

Thanks. ^_^

[hollyhorcrux.livejournal.com]

Cuuuute! Fics like this remind me why I love this fandom so much :)

[hsavinien.livejournal.com]

'cos we're all mad? ^_^

[kunenk.livejournal.com]

Heeh. Fun! Great last line.

[hsavinien.livejournal.com]

Thank you. ^_^

[mysticdreamer32.livejournal.com]

LOL cute,

**“My Rod of Lordly Might?” Crowley said half-hopefully.

“…oughtn’t you have been smited for that?”**

indeed he should..thnank i needed that. :D

[hsavinien.livejournal.com]

Heheh. You're welcome.

[tathrin.livejournal.com]

Kay, so, you've slain me with your Rod of Lordly Might.

By which I of course mean your pen.

Only it is a metaphorical pen, which is in reality a keyboard.

The point is, that was hysterical and brilliant, and now I am dying with many a snigger and giggle. Ohhhh...wow. I don't even have words. The dialog, it was so perfect! I shall second agenttrojie, have a second internets with my compliments.

[hsavinien.livejournal.com]

Hee. Glad to be of service. ^_^