A project of mine

[hsavinien]

Warning:  This post contains naughty words.  Very, very silly naughty words that are sexual in nature (if a writer wants to sound like a dimwit).

Words that no one is allowed to use in smutty fan- or original fiction (once I rule the world):

• To describe male genitalia:

Pride, manhood (elfhood, etc.), tool, weapon (sword, gun, staff, wand, etc.), member, little “insert character’s name here,” limb, rod, pipe, meat, sausage, hog [?], pole, poker, prong, man-junk, man-piece, length [seriously overused], throbbing [unless there is a medical problem]

• To describe eyes:

Orbs, spheres, creamy [?], sparkling, crystalline, dewy, shimmering

• To describe muscles:

Pythons [?], guns, rippling [defeat the evil cliché!], pulsating, lithe

• To describe skin:

Silk, velvet, creamy, bronzed

• To describe female genitalia:

Pussy, cock-holster [seriously wtf], flower, aching warmth, her wetness, love muscles [?], her center, any type of plumbing or public maintenance feature metaphor, snatch, cunt [...ew]

• To describe buttocks:

Globes, mounds

• To describe breasts:

Pillowy, beachballs, gazongas (et al related), bazookas, fruit (melons, peaches, etc.), heaving, mounds

• To describe sexual excretions:

Honey, nectar, juice, cream, wetness, fruit flavored (any variety)

Got any to add to my list?